Van Helsing Boombox

When anything that's anything becomes nothing that's everything
And nothing is the only thing you ever seem to have
But only time will tell if I'll allow
the scenery around to eat me alive

I survived over a week without a computer. This should be a feat in itself. I now mourn the loss of over 10 years of work—writing that I may never see again, and the start and finish of a project that seems further and further with each day. But I will not let me get this down, because I'm trying oh so hard to be optimistic given the state of my life right now. My only hope is that this cannot last too much longer.

I've recently been recounting specific periods of my life, and it's funny how much you can forget, even at only 23. The most monumental things become appropriate bullet points in the time line, but its the smaller decisions, the quick phases that really shape a character. I had forgotten I once started a email newsletter for Felicity that, when I really think about it, basically shaped the rest of my life. I remembered the move from California to New Jersey, how I couldn't find a dance class and so easily gave it up, when it had consumed my life only days before. We're fickle beings, and I'm finding that may be one of my biggest detriments, or benefits, depending on the day, of course.

The first song of Man Man I heard was "Van Helsing Boombox," where the quote above is from. The sound and lyrics of that song combined do a perfect representation of chaos. I admit I started to go a bit stir crazy in my apartment this week. If I don't leave, I cannot spend any money, I rationalized. But now I'm determined to find some spots with with free wifi in my neighborhood. Any one know of any in Chelsea? Today I shelled out the 9 dollars to sit in Starbucks, but that seems to not justify my previous reasoning. Humph.