Friday, June 6, 2008

Don't Play With Me 'Cause You're Playing With Fire

Now you've got some diamonds and you will have some others
But you'd better watch your step, girl
Or start living with your mother
So don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire

In the last week I turned 24, landed a new job, and felt relief at the fact that I no longer had to work within the music industry. Strange, because for so long its all I wanted but when I actually got it, I realized how little it is for me. In the end, I never really felt comfortable talking or writing about music, much happier to talk about what happened on TV last night or chat nonsense with a band. I never liked the business, the networking, the fake smiles and the constant look for someone better in the room. I suppose it could be true for any industry, but with the state of music these days, I saw scavengers holding on to whatever they could. And me? I was content in the back of the room, bobbing my head like an idiot.

I probably just experienced one of the worst times in my life for a multitude of reasons but I'm looking forward to a new beginning. I wasn't planning on such a change, but something tells me this happened for a reason. If this feeling of relief is any indication, I do know that I thoroughly look forward to actually enjoying music for the first time in almost five years. I can't wait to attend a show without a camera or the thoughts of how to turn this into a review. I can't wait to see which of my acquaintances are actually friends, and not just colleagues or clients in the long run. But mostly, I can't wait to not feel like such an impostor, because for so long I knew that this was not the right place for me.

One day I think I'll turn these past five years into a book. I wish that I had that short story I wrote about a life as a blogger, but its currently still sitting on that hard drive that wont start up. I'm not entirely sure if this is the end or a new start for Underrated, but I'm not too worried about giving it a label. Because, in the beginning I had fun writing about my escapades in this blog, and I only did it because I enjoyed doing it. So much of blogging now has become an institution, going against the very reason why they were created in the first place. So as long as I still like writing in here, I'll attend, and you're welcome to join me. Just don't expect too much and we'll be just fine.

Everywhere I've gone in the past week, this song has followed me. I first discovered the wonderful Rolling Stones b-side in Darjeeling Limited and haven't gotten it out of my head since. Enjoy.

The Rolling Stones - Play With Fire [YouSendIt]


magickat said...

Well I will follow. I love reading your blog. Honestly I've been opened up to some things I never would have thought of checking out before.

Good luck in your new path. I hope you find joy in it. And value. And a place of belonging where you are, doing what you're doing.

And finally - happy belated birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

MusicAndArtsBlog said...

right on with blogs becoming an institutions becoming the very thing they were against.

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