Monday, April 9, 2007

i am not myself these days

This weekend, I headed down to my sister's house in Maryland for the holiday. It was nice to get out of the city, those quick retreats that remind you that grass does exist and silence can be heard at 3 AM. I spent most of my time playing tennis on Nintendo Wii that my brother brought down and now my arms are completely sore. What an amazing new way of playing video games. I highly approve.

Coming back on the bus, heading over the bridge I began to thought if I could ever leave this city, and what it would feel to come back not being a resident. My roommate dropped the ball on me right before I left that he is heading back home once our lease is up in August. She's over New York, and it saddened me to think that I could be over it one day as well. But each time I come back and I find myself walking down whichever street it could be, there's that unspeakable sense that overcomes me and I know this is where I'm supposed to be. Maybe it wont last forever...nothing ever rarely does.

9780060817329_2 On my bus ride to and from, I began and finished a memoir by Josh Kilmer-Purcell titled I Am Not Myself These Days. As much as I can identify and feel passionate about music, there's nothing like completely immersing yourself in a fantastic book, especially memoirs. Once I finished the last page, I felt like I knew this person better than I know myself. A quick summary is that Kilmer-Purcell was better known as his dragqueen alter ego named Aqua in the late 90's in New York City. The book follows Aqua and Kilmer-Purcell for their first year in the city, as he falls in love with a S&M male prostitute named Jack who eventually becomes a crack addict. Sounds intense, I know. But it's awfully funny and heartbreaking at the same time, and as Aqua's life spins out of control, you feel out of control as well. It's amazing to me how Kilmer-Purcell could remember half of the stories, as he was drunk almost every hour of the day. But it's quite an amazing tale, and an enjoyable read if you feel like picking up a new book. You can check out the website for the memoir, and Kilmer-Purcell here.

And like all great albums, films, and books I feel personally affected. While reading about his chaotic lifestyle and continuing a party I found myself re-evaluating my life. Not that I was anywhere near Aqua status, or hardly even at the level of most people I know, but I've taken on a new goal of simplifying my life. I always was a fan of schedules and structure, so I'm bringing it back, maybe making it cool again. We'll see.

This time last week I saw Scotland band Twilight Sad play at Knitting Factory. It was one of those shows that you know you'll look back on and still be in complete awe. The intensity in the lead singer's face almost made me want to turn away at some points, but I was transfixed. This is one of those bands you do need to see live for the full experience. Pat took pictures and wrote a recap here. He also snagged a video of one of the best moments in the too-short set. I'd really like to see them again.


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